Tuesday, March 30, 2010

No Faith in the Alpha Male

Yes it’s true, I will be going solo soon, in about 2 months Mother Dearest will be in another time zone and I will be in the Danger Zone! Fending for my life, a day to day battle, but i am not afraid. This Lone Wolf needs a chance to sharpen his claws and polish his fangs. I realise that I perhaps did not perceive that my mother leaving for to another country might pose a problem and i have been thinking seriously about it. Already I am preparing for my solitude. "How?", you might ask, well let me tell you.

For food i have the number of every fast food place within a 50km radius, and if all the phone lines are down I will have to revert to my wolf instincts and sniff out some food... from my neighbours. For Clothing I again have a plan, my swimming pool is always full of water, I figure if I swim a lap or two after work everyday the vigorous motion will clean my clothes then I just need to let them dry out, sorted. I have been planning all sorts of things for extra cash as well, for instance, I am converting my parents bedroom in to a crystal meth lab for a few extra bucks.

So there, naaa na na naaaaa naaaaa, I’ll show you lot.

Oh yes one more thing, I’m having a braai party type of a thing at my house this weekend, please would everyone bring rolls, meat (already cooked), cool drinks, toilet paper, 5 litres of petrol, toothpaste, some cookies, cheese, um… do I need eggs… yes please bring eggs, milk and bread, oh ya and some butter, er… its all for the braai you know.

Hope to see you there :)

The Wolf Pack of One

Ab initio

So ya, My Dad works in Hong Kong and my mom decided to resign from her job to go and stay with him.

I decided to tell my work colleges about in a passing conversation. They could not understand how I could be so calm and why I was not panicking. I’m still not sure why but it seems that people have little faith in me.

True, I don’t fully understand where the process of how clothes get washed and ironed. True, I don’t know how the food gets out of the fridge cold and ends up cooked on the table and hot (et cetera). But these, I believe, are simple formalities.

I’ll have you know that I can make 2 minute noodles in 24 different ways and I have devised an ingenious way to wear one set of undies for 4 days in a row. "De die in diem"

In terrorem, Now I ask you, do I seem like a person to stress about trivial little things like nutrition and hygiene or I do I sound like a man who take the bull by the horns, chops him up and braai’s him? NOLO CONTENDERE!!!

Here is a blog just to prove that i can do it on my own (Sub modo), I just need to be given the right opportunity.

quid pro quo... verbatim... bona vacantia...

(I think I've made my point)